An Affirmation of Me

I wrote this on September 11, 2011, over on Google Plus, where I’ve been spending a lot of time lately. But I’m rather postworthy over there, so I wanted to have a copy over here, too.

It started out just as a short summary in reflection. I didn’t want to post about my memories from a decade ago, even though I’d seen several by friends of mine. I’ve been doing a lot of work with my counselor over the past nearly two years, and much of that work is reflected in my words. So, without further ado:

A decade ago I wouldn’t have believed that I’d be living in the DC area, single, loving my job helping people find healthy, natural food and supplies for their pets. I’ve met some amazing people along the way, and said goodbye to some people who weren’t good for me.

I’m a different person, in many ways, but at the core, I’m still me. Passionate about animal rights & equality for all people, politically liberal, and absolutely devoted to my family and friends.

Oh, and I tend to wave my geek flag a bit higher these days, because I’m less concerned (though not completely immune) to what others think about me. I love being a part of the SCA community, and after playing in the Midrealm and Atlantia since 1995, finally went to my first Pennsic this year! How long until Pennsic XVI?

I can be deliriously happy spending hours petting yarn and natural fibers. I’m proficient at spinning and crochet, and find both of them soothing to my soul. I also know there is much still to learn about both of these crafts, and enjoy challenging myself to try new techniques.

I am still humbled when I think about the Hyperbolic Crochet Coral Reef project, and exhilarated that I was able to participate, after reading about the traveling exhibit for years in magazines and websites. My name was posted on the wall of the Museum of Natural History as a contributor, and that is amazing to me. I feel so fortunate that I was able to share that experience with my parents.

I’m still often blunt when I state my opinions, and I don’t tolerate fools well, nor people who don’t own their own actions. I know that I’m flawed, as we all are, and no one likes admitting their mistakes, but we are each responsible for the decisions that we make, and I expect that from everyone.

I’ve been going to a counselor for nearly 2 years, since shortly after I was assaulted by a former roommate. I’m learning to process my feelings, and not be as reactionary in difficult situations. I’m also regaining some of the confidence that was shattered as a result of that and a previous assault (while I was in college). I know that these situations have affected my trust in others, and likely will for some time.

I know what I like, and what I don’t, and I know that I don’t need someone to complete me. I’d like to find someone to travel beside, but I’m willing to go it alone until we find one another, because I’m awesome, and I know I’m worth the wait.


About Bevin

I grew up reading stories of all kinds, but the fantasy genre has long been a favorite. Whether it's knights and sorcerors, Jedis or Browncoats, I love them all. I wanted to find my own secret passage to Narnia, study with the Heralds of Valdemar, or become a member of the elven wolfrider pack. I'm sure it was no surprise to my parents that when I discovered there was a club at my college dedicated to medieval life, I'd join. They likely didn't expect that 15 years later, I am still an active member. I acquired the nickname "Bevin the SnarlingBadger" from a friend in the Society for Creative Anachronism, an international not-for-profit educational organization which focuses on studying aspects of medieval life through first-person, hands-on research and practice. Yes, for some that means strapping on armor & practicing combat. For others it means studying a particular culture and time period, developing a "slice of life" persona. For me it means exploring arts & sciences, dressing up in pretty gowns, hanging out with other people who enjoy doing things the "hard way." Outside of the SCA, I'm passionate about animal rights & pet nutrition (and I'm trying to convince myself to eat healthier too), I love movies, audiobooks, tv (Netflix and Hulu are frequent accompaniment for craft-time), crochet, handspinning... I've also been playing Star Wars: The Old Republic, since I was invited to participate in beta testing. I love the immersive quality of the game, and play primarily to watch the stories develop. So, this is a bit of me. There's more. Thanks for stopping by!
This entry was posted in Lessons Learned, Relationships, Self. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s